Let Love Find You!
By:
Michaela Zackett
Are you single and looking for a partner? Have
you had bad relationships in the past? Are you
worried you might never find the right person?
If so, you are certainly not the only one. In
the UK these days, more and more people are
living alone, or as single parents, or with
their parents or friends. The number of people
who go through multiple divorces is also rising.In spite of the depressing outlook suggested by
the statistics, however, it is perfectly
feasible to have a solid, happy marriage that
lasts a lifetime. The key to making it happen is
to create the right circumstances for it and to
have the right attitude. If you have had
relationships end badly or sadly, you can learn
from your mistakes and break the cycle.
First of all, you must love yourself. If you
don't love yourself, you can't expect anyone
else to. Yes, you have probably heard this
before, but it's true. If you are looking for a
partner to make you feel better about yourself,
you will end up feeling even worse than you do
now. Either you will put people off by being so
negative or you will attract someone who will
take you at your own valuation and treat you
like garbage.
The other drawback to feeling you "need someone"
is that you will put too much pressure on the
relationship and on the other person to give you
what you need. A healthy relationship is one in
which each party is whole in him or herself, not
with gaps that the other is meant to fill. If
you feel there are gaps in you, you are probably
right - but that does NOT mean there is anything
wrong with you. It means you have some
unresolved issues from your past (as 99.99% of
people on earth have) and you will find a
happier relationship if you address these issues
first, with the help of a counselor or
psychotherapist.
There is no shame in getting some help. In fact,
it's crazy not to, when there is so much
invaluable help available to us these days. If
you were suffering from some physical ailment,
you would go to the doctor. Why, then, do we
feel we must ignore or repress our emotional
pain? A therapist will give you not only the
self-esteem you crave but also insight into how
to avoid another destructive relationship.
Once you have come to realize what a capable,
lovable person you really are, the next step is
to make sure your life reflects this. Are you
happy with the house/flat and location where you
live? Is your job challenging and satisfying?
Have you got supportive friends and interesting
hobbies? If your life is not as you would like
it to be, don't put up with it, change it! You
might be surprised what you can achieve if you
take courage and just do it. Having a
stimulating, fulfilling life of your own means
that you won't be looking to your partner to
provide excitement and fun.
Now, the next question is, when you're feeling
positive and confident and ready for a partner,
how do you set about finding one? There are
several possibilities, including joining a
dating agency, asking your friends to do a bit
of matchmaking, putting an ad in the newspaper.
The principal benefit of joining a dating agency
is fast access to a large pool of available
people within a few miles of you. The big
disadvantage to this - and to every other
manufactured connection - is the pressure it
puts on everybody to be what someone else wants.
The best way to meet "someone special" is by
chance. Concentrate on fulfilling yourself in
other ways - through work, through your hobbies
and particularly through your social life. You
do need to get out, you do need to make sure
you're always meeting new people, but do it with
a view to making new friends rather than finding
love as such. Join a club rather than a dating
agency, go to parties, take a course, do
whatever you enjoy and will bring you into
contact with like-minded people.
As a final thought, the idea that there is
someone out there for each of us is a myth. In
fact, there are thousands of diverse people who
could turn out to be a marvelous partner for
any of us. If you're waiting for the perfect
person, you will be disappointed. What matters
is commitment. Even though you will have the odd
disagreement, if you are truly committed to each
other, your relationship will work. So stop
worrying! Focus on enjoying life and let love
come to you in its own time.
Article Source:
http://www.uberarticles.com/articles
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